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Category Archives: How I Met Your Mother

He REALLY likes the suits!

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How I Met Your Mother’s 100th episode is tonight.

Let’s hope the reason it’s been slightly off its game this season is because it’s been saving up awesome for this musical extravaganza.

It’s do-o’-clock. Let’s ride.

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Here’s a little truth nugget for you: Neil Patrick Harris is Boob Tube’s number one gay celebrity we all have a crush on.

WWNPHD?

WWNPHD?

He is truly a magnificent bastard as the scene-stealing man whore Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother.

His sense of humour is legend-wait for it-dary, as we can attest from repeated viewings of both Harold and Kumar movies.

He made us laugh and cry as Dr. Horrible in Joss Whedon’s web show Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-Long Blog.

And who knew that Doogie Howser would grow up to be sooooooooo good lookin’? Well, me. Circa 1991.

Speaking as a female, I just want to say, Neil? Are you SURE you’re gay? Like, positive? OK. Just checking. If you change your mind, we are all available. Ahem.

ANYWAY.

According to my hated nemesis Ausiello, Harris will be hosting the Emmys this year. Thank you, baby Jesus!

While we are dedicated blogging professionals who watch the Emmys every year no matter who hosts, this is almost certainly a guarantee that we will ENJOY the broadcast for the first time since Conan hosted.

We will ESPECIALLY enjoy it if NPH can arrange a repeat of Brett Michaels being knocked out by a stage prop like at the Tonys. Man, you really can’t see enough of that, so here it is in slow-mo with some commentary by NPH at the end.

ABRAAAAAAAAAAAMS!

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J.J. Abrams was on The Colbert Report last night. Is it wrong that I really wanted Stephen to find some way to force him to give away the ending to Lost so I don’t have to hear about how good it’s getting again?

WRONG AGAIN, Entertainment Weekly. WRONG AGAIN. Lost is NOT getting good again. It, in fact, continues to be horrible in every way shape and form. I promised myself I wouldn’t go off on a rant here, but… Jack now believes that if only they hadn’t crashed, everything would be great. Derp. Good thing they find a magical journal that tells them how to avoid said crash! Oh, deus ex journal! I love you so! P.S. This whole conundrum over Jack/Kate, Kate/Sawyer, Sawyer/Juliet, Juliet/Jack? I’m pretty sure it’s the cause of swine flue. Or whatever pandemic will ravage the world in the future. Frog Fever, let’s say.

Below, I’ve gone through a few shows that I’m watching or not watching, as the case may be, and reasoned through why. If you don’t click, you’ll be missing my pointed commentary on many things, a Venn diagram equation, my moment of mustache weakness and a bunch of shows you were probably unaware even still existed. *cough*The Unit*cough*

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STELLLLLLLAAAAAAA!

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I’m making a chart of people who could be the titular mother on How I Met Your Mother. Guess who’s at the bottom?

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So the bear says “You didn’t come here to hunt, did you?”

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So Monday’s episode of How I Met Your Mother ventured into vulgar joke telling territory. It stuck a toe into the water. And it wasn’t even a main plot point. Not really.

The episode starts with Barney telling Lily a disgusting joke. Ted and Marshall warn him that his joke is “boy funny” not “girl funny.” But of course, he tells her anyway. Only we don’t hear the punchline, just the setup, which is: “What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?” And then he tells her, but it’s all slow motion and voiceover from older Ted, explaining how bad the joke was. When the three dudes are killing themselves laughing, Lily says “Yeah, I can’t hang out with you anymore” and gets up to leave. According to Ted, they don’t see her for four weeks.

Darn it! Just when Barney needs to talk to somebody about his lurve for Robin and how it’s all going to hell because she’s banging the dude Ted hired as his assistant! Seriously, that joke was told specifically so Lily would not be around when Barney needed her to overanalyze his feelings for Robin. By the way, they’re totally not feelings! He just thinks about her all the time, misses her when she’s gone and imagines that they will one day run into each other’s arms in slow motion while he’s wearing a brown suit vest.

Lord amercy, the “Ted hires assistant” plot was dumb. I mean, Ted is essentially unemployed, yet he hires an assistant? WTW? And Barney is jealous of this dude, so he needs to find a way to stop him from hanging out in Ted and Robin’s apartment, because apparently, Robin will literally do anyone who comes in and hangs out for more than a few minutes. (OK, that’s not ridiculous. If I lived with a guy and he hired some dude to sit in my apartment all day and the guy was decent looking, I’d bang him. Hmmm… I need a roommate. A roommate who does zany things.) But this problem is essentially solved by Marshall, who has a problem of his own.

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We’re too old for this stuff! Huzzah!

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I haven’t talked much about How I Met Your Mother this season because, well, I’ve been slightly disappointed.

On the one hand, the Canada jokes are never not awesome. They’re gold, Jerry. Yukon Gold. Hahahah! You can use that one, producers! Also, at least consider Flin Flon! It’s a funny name! See also: Regina. Come on! COME ON!

On the other hand, I’m starting to wonder if writing around two pregnancies isn’t starting to wear a little thin. I will give it to them, they are being very creative about how they’re hiding Cobie Smulders and Alyson Hannigan’s bellies. They’ve used purses and bags and coats and the usual assortment of holding things, but scarves, flowing blouses, racks of basketballs, orange slices, guitars and drying dishes made the cut this week. And props for still having Robin and Lily drinking with the boys!

You know what? Just because this episode wasn’t over-the-top awesome doesn’t mean it didn’t have its moments. They do keep coming up with awesome websites and pop culture witticism that I am sure I’ll be referencing for years to come. The Murtaugh list may, in fact, be one of the most inspired yet. ‘Cause I’m almost 30. And that means I’ve only got a couple years of beer bongs, raves and TPing laser tag places before going to bed at 8 p.m. and getting up at 4 a.m., instead of the other way around, which is how I like it.

This episode, everybody really got a chance to do something. Robin’s tale of the Canadian version of Murtaugh and Riggs was awesome. I don’t know if the producers know this, but… it kind of actually exists. Yeah. Ahem. Let’s never speak of this again.

The kindergarteners were great. I loved the one in the cape during Lily’s version of practise. I also loved the unexpected way Marshall screamed like a girl when Lily threw a chair at him after threatening that her punishment would be “worse than that time I discovered your browser history.”

Neil Patrick Harris’ laser tag scenario with the FANTASTIC Robert Wisdom (better known as Bunny Colvin from The Wire) made me laugh out loud, especially when he’s given a second chance, only to immediately hold a kid down with his foot to shoot him while laughing maniacally.

It is rare when Ted’s is my favourite storyline. But when it is, it usually coincides with him being an insufferable douche. I don’t know why I enjoy that so much, but I do. Prematurely aging Ted is awesome. Because despite all evidence to the contrary, you can see how Ted could turn out to be a humourless turd. If it wasn’t for the others, specifically Robin and Barney, I’d have very little reason to like Ted.

The other thing I’ll mention is that I like how specific they get in their jokes. Like when Ted and Barney are making their bets and they step it up a notch with a reverse Murtaugh list that Ted must complete, Ted mentions the specific kind of architecture he wants to spend four hours discussing if he wins. And Barney clarifies that the toilet paper used in the TPing of the laser tag place if he wins must not be the organic biodegradable kind because “I want it up there forever!”

And it must be said, Teen Wolf? Awesome. Arooooooo! Men becoming wolves!

Well, I’m off to bed early. What? This is a totally reasonable hour to go to bed for me! I sure hope I don’t run across a Lethal Weapon marathon. ‘Cause I am surely too old for this stuff.

No Salty Prime Minister On The First Date

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In case you were wondering, yes, you can visit canadiansexacts.org. Get the information out!

As for the rest of last night’s TV, I think this sums it up:

chuckcrest

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