Oh Lawd! Will the summer TV doldrums never end? Here are some things that have been occupying the mindspace I usually take up with obsessively watching Heroes or Battlestar Galactica. Or Ghost Whisperer.
First, a new feature here at boob tube: Stuff we wish was on TV.
Why isn’t Jezebel’s Pot Psychology on my TV? Is it because they discuss real life problems and real life sex using real life language? While stoned? Oh. Stupid censors.
Rich from Four-Four (his Project Runway recaps are the best in the bloggin’ biz – sorry TWoP, you suck now.) and Tracie “Slut Machine” Egan get stoned and answer questions readers send in. While high. Some episodes are higher than others. Like this episode, they seemed really high. Sometimes, Sasha Frere-Jones joins in on the fun, but doesn’t say much.
Best line of the episode? The question from a viewer/reader: “How much coke is too much coke?” Tracie: “There’s never enough coke. That’s why you shouldn’t do it.” HA! It’s funny cuz it’s true. Uh, I mean, don’t do drugs, kids! Except pot. That’s OK.
I really like the frank, bordering on gross discussions about sex. Sex is sex. Everyone has it, but nobody talks about it. They answer questions you’re too embarrassed to ask and, more importantly, tell you not to be embarrassed about it. In the last installment of Pot Psychology, Tracie and Rich busted out with a little Salt N’ Pepa. Spinderella cut it up one time. Ooh-Ooh-Ooooh!
At any rate, I’m extremely happy that Jezebel exists online, I just wish I could also buy it in print form and carry it around. Or watch it on TV. But I probably wouldn’t like it if I could get it. But that’s the great thing about being a foul-mouthed, dirty, too-sarcastic, hyper-critical, media obsessed bitch: you’re pretty much entirely free to write whatever you want online because the mainstream media is scared of you. Or that’s what I tell myself as I eat my ramen by myself.
Keep up the good work, Jezebel!
The SECOND thing I’ve been thinking about lately, is the last episode of Ghost Whisperer this season.
I know I started out with the best intentions to recap every episode. I got almost to the end of the third episode and was so bored, I gave up. But without fail, Ghost Whisperer is one of the biggest draws of this site. There is no accounting for taste, but can you imagine if I put some effort into it? So yeah. I’ve been trying to convince Jess and Salome that we should all recap the episodes. What do our esteemed readers think? Good move, or should we just “shut up and change the channel” as one charming individual urged us to do?
But back to the final episode. I should do a quick “This season on Ghost Whisperer,” then recap the actual final episode. Basically, it ends with Professor Jay Mohr, Melinda, Jim, Melinda’s mother, Delia and not!Ned walking happily out of the bustling town square. Until Professor Mohr looks down at the shadows they’re casting on the street and realizes there are six people and only five shadows. Ruh-roh! So the Internets is fairly buzzing with ideas about who’s shadowless and probably dead. Let’s run through the options, shall we?
Melinda. Seems unlikely. But hey, you never know. What’s dumber than a show about a ghost whisperer? A show about a DEAD ghost whisperer.
Melinda’s mom. Hmmm. If she’s dead, that means Jim can see dead people. Because he had some fairly intense conversations with her. It would be easier to explain away her death because it’s not like Melinda hangs with her mother every day like she appears to do with Delia and Jay Mohr.
Jim. He was acting weird all episode. Didn’t interact with anybody except Melinda and her mother (who can see dead people) and appeared, by my fuzzy approximation, to be the person without the shadow. But presumably, Melinda would know if her husband were dead and would be a bit more broken up about it than she appeared in the last scene.
Delia. She didn’t have much interaction with anybody else this episode either. But she’s got Ned to raise and this show can’t keep killing off Melinda’s bestest buddies. Though I would not blame Camryn Manheim for blowing this pop stand.
Ned. Why kill off the amazing growing Ned when you can just fast-track his aging again, hire a new, older actor and have him go away to college?
The Professor. In the dining room. With the candle stick. Of all the options, this seems the most likely, since he’s the one who notices there are only five shadows and for that to make sense, he either has to be dead or able to see dead people like Melinda. His character is expendable. Mohr has a new show next fall (Which, by the way, looks really, really, really bad and stars Paula Marshall, who I’m sure is quite lovely, but who is like, the black widow spider of TV shows. Careful, Jay! She’s a show killer! She’ll suck you dry!) and needs to leave GW. But I’ve seen at least one item claiming he’ll be back next season and his character will leave on sabbatical, just in time for Jamie Kennedy to sweep in and “share a bond with Melinda.” Network’s emphasis, not mine.
What pisses me off most about this “somebody in their group is dead” development is that if it’s true, somebody died offscreen and that is such a stupid cop-out. I better not have to deal with any flashbacks/forwards. I get enough of those on Lost and they make me want to vomit.
Okay. Now that I’ve devoted brain cells to figuring out who died on the season finale of Ghost Whisperer, I can just go draw a hot bath and open a vein or two.