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Hope Votes And Other TV News.

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  • Unlike the last two elections, whose election nights dragged on and on…and on–much like this campaign season, the news media is cautiously, ever so delicately predicting a possible, maybe, perhaps early election call. If one candidate wins big on the eastern side of the country, where polls close at 8PM EST, then the election may be over before the western side has even finished voting. That is excellent news for us, because I have a dentist appointment next Wednesday morning and I’d like to get some sleep. And some hope.

  • Sam Mendes is working on bringing the comic Preacher to the small screen.

    Created by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, the Vertigo Comics series told the story of a down-and-out Texas preacher possessed by Genesis, a supernatural entity conceived by the unnatural coupling of an angel and a demon.

    Given immense powers, the preacher teamed with a former girlfriend and a hard-drinking Irish vampire and set out on a journey across America to find God — who apparently had abandoned his duties in heaven — and hold him accountable for his negligence.

    Of course, there is no way that this will air on regular network TV. It is being developed for HBO. Vampires are so hot right now.

  • For some reason unfathomable to us except as a fulfillment to an apocalyptic prophecy, E! has ordered a second season of the Denise Richards “reality” program, Denise Richards: It’s Not Complicated. Truer words, y’all.

  • The CW has announced plans to remake Melrose Place. The Boob Tube has announced plans not to watch it. ABC, on the other hand, has greenlighted a pilot to star Alabama’s own Courteney Cox. The program, called Cougar Town, is the work of Scrubs creator Bill Lawrence. The creators of Boob Tube are circling Cougar Town nervously. NBC, on the third mutant hand, is making a choose-her-own-adventure program based on the book Pretty Little Mistakes. The book “lets readers decide which path the female protagonist will take at the end of each chapter. It starts out with a high school graduation, after which the reader makes one of two possible choices — college or travel — ultimately leading to 150 possible endings.” It sounds simultaneously neat to approaching neato and easily effed up. Finally, Fox is working on a pilot called Boldly Going Nowhere, a show from the creators of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Cast so far are Tony Hale, Ben Koldyke, Lennon Parham, and Chad L. Coleman. Koldyke and Parham are relative newcomers, but you should know Tony Hale from Arrested Development and Chad L. Coleman from Holy God We Love The Wire. (Tanis, he played Cutty.)

  • Russell Brand has resigned following his and cohost Jonathan Ross’s suspension from the BBC. The pair were suspended following a public outcry over a bit they did in which they left answering machine messages for Andrew Sachs (Fawlty Towers’s Manuel) concerning Brand’s previous sexual relationship with Sachs’s granddaughter. Asked for comment on the suspension, Sachs’s granddaughter, Georgina Baillie said: …Me and my granddad are both really happy because it could have damaged our reputation permanently.’ Ms. Baillie, a burlesque dancer who performs with a group called The Satanic Sluts, also said that she was “thrilled that justice has been done.”

About Salome G

Raised by werewolves.

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