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Lost: Somebody put this show out of its misery so that Pushing Daisies might rise again!

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So Gawker recently asked: What should be cancelled instead of Pushing Daisies?

That is a very good question. They say that Entourage, Private Practice and The Office should bite it before Pushing Daisies, well, pushes daisies. We agree. Wholeheartedly. Entourage is past its sell-by date, The Office needs to realize there’s a REASON the Brits do, like, three seasons then quit and Private Practice is mostly an excuse to look at Piz without his shirt on.

I can’t believe Gawker neglected to mention the biggest, stupidest, most undeserving show currently on network television:


Lost is a four-letter word around here in more ways than one. Holy God does it suck! Find out why after the jump!

I literally cannot believe how fast this thing went down the crapper. That’s why I’m very happy that J.J. Abrams’ other baby, Fringe, has brought X-Files alum Darin Morgan on board as a consulting producer. Now, when J.J. eventually wanders off to start his next geek project, somebody who knows something about sci-fi will be around to pick up the pieces.

But he has totally and completely abandoned Lost and nobody is in control of this sinking ship island.

First, there are the meandering plots and totally ridiculous twists. It’s a magical island! It’s a corporate island! It’s not an island at all! Who fucking cares? We sank the island! Now it’s back in a different spot! It’s in a hatch! And there’s a frozen donkey wheel at the centre! The numbers! Crazy numbers! They mean something! No they don’t! Polar bear! Smoke monster! French lady! Wheeee! Hippies! Dirty, corporate hippies! Michael’s home! Now he’s gone! Now he’s back! Check out these new people! Oops! They’re dead! Check out these OTHER new people! Now they’re dead! The others! The OTHER others! We’re off the island! Yay! Except we need to get back on the island! It’s imperative! Ghosts! It’s ghosts! No it’s not! IT’S TIME TRAVEL, motherfuckers! The whole island is in a slow child’s snow globe! Whoa, man! Freaky! We totally just blew our own minds!

Then there’s the vast, sprawling cast and their vast, sprawling paycheques. Not to mention the huge amount of money dumped into the promotion of this stinker. Don’t miss this week’s Lost! If you do, you won’t know what you’re missing! What’s in this hatch? Probably nothing, but you never know! Better tune in! It might be Thomas Hobbes! And we’re totally killing somebody off! Or ARE we? No. We totally are. Unless we aren’t! Tune in to find out! Confused? Watch our clips show to help sort all this bullshit out for yourself!

God. I’m exhausted just from typing all that!

Pushing Daisies, while it can be a little formulaic in the “every week’s a whodunnit with quirky characters” sense, at least has recognizable plots that advance and are original and end. Watching Lost is like staring at a mobius strip of insanity. It’s like watching your formerly beloved yellow lab become rabid and not having the guts to take it out back and shoot it. It’s like. . . a really bad TV show that just gets worse and worse with absolutely no idea how to right itself. Yeah. I ran out of metaphors.

I always wonder why people don’t get fed up with Lost because this show cannot possibly end in a way that will satisfactorily answer all the questions it has posed over the years. But I have decided that some television viewers are just very simple people who enjoy stories, even if those stories don’t go anywhere and meander along in the jungle forever. There will always be that one idiot sitting there grinning going “And??? What happens next!?”

One of the earliest mistakes this show made was pretending it had answers for its fandom when it didn’t. The theory that the characters were in some sort of mystical purgatory was introduced by fans early and immediately quashed as ridiculous and “too easy” by producers and writers. Dudes, if you do something well, it will transcend the cliche. Instead, you scoffed and now you have a bunch of actors trying to get off an island. Literally!

I can’t wait for the next DUI from an actor who thought living in Hawaii would be bitchin’, but is now just homesick and ready for it to be over. Dudes. We know. We feel your pain. There’s definitely purgatory, but it’s not the characters who are suffering it. We are.


About Tanis

Badass, smokin' hot and overall nice to come home to.

18 responses »

  1. Pingback: Lost criticism « Not Confused Just Lost

  2. Lulz, how cute. No one’s forcing you to watch the show. I hate Desperate Housewives, but I’m not about to waste my time writing a pointless, immature, screaming blog about a show I know next to nothing about (as you do).

    Lost isn’t for you, fine, it doesn’t have to be for everyone. But at least appreciate that some people obviously do still like it and respect that.

    “I always wonder why people don’t get fed up with Lost because this show cannot possibly end in a way that will satisfactorily answer all the questions it has posed over the years.”

    The producers have already said that in no uncertain terms and for the record, most of us are fine with that. Of course some mysteries won’t be answered. Why is that bad? I think you, and most who hate on Lost, are just used to the conventional way of television series. Basic plot, a few twists here and there, basic characters on basic journeys, each episode seperate from the next and so on.

    Lost turned that on its head by having diverse characters in a diverse, sci fi setting, interconnected lives, twists and turns every week, journeys that sometimes take seasons to fulfill and now time differences. Lost isn’t like other TV shows – that’s it. If it’s not your cup of tea, great. But you don’t see me yelling, screaming, mocking you, do you? I’m respecting your right to an opinion without lowering myself by being nasty.

    After all, it’s just a TV show. Fiction. Fantasy. Make believe.

    And it’ll be all over by 2010 so just keep your TV off ABC until then and you should be fine.

  3. Hahaha. Virtual high-five Mr. Anon.
    – izi

  4. Anon, I shouldn’t speak for Tanis, but everyone who writes for this blog is a big fan of serialized shows. Whenever a person criticizes Lost, fans tend to make this assumption that you’re a drooling moronic Emmy voter who clearly spends every night filling her face with spray cheese and yucking it up to Two and A Half Men.

    I honestly don’t understand what it is about some Lost fans that makes them feel personally attacked if you say you don’t like the show. Get off the cross. Jack needs the wood to build a ladder to get the hell over himself.

  5. Oh, crazy superfans! If I had known you would have come out so fast, I would’ve made fun of Lost much, much, much, much, much earlier!

  6. That’s Ms Anon to you, izi! *high fives back*

    Jess D – fair enough but at least make an effort to sound mature if you’re gonna rant on and on about a show the original poster clearly hardly watches. There’s such a thing as respect for what other people like. I’m not making fun of any other shows Tanis is watching, am I?

    Tanis – another “mature” response, conveniently avoiding everything.

  7. Lost is a smart, exciting, mysterious show that presents an entertaining mix of drama, sci-fi and action all within a serialized format. It has rich characters, a great setting and fun twists and turns. I acknowledge that there are many people who enjoyed the simpler format of season 1, but lost their love once the show began to expand its universe beyond the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. That’s fine. You cannot please all of the people all of the time. However, to describe Lost fans as “simple” “idiot with grins” illustrates the author’s ignorance of the subject matter.

    I never watched Pushing Daisies, so I wont miss what I do not know.

  8. Sorry Ms. Anon, it’s kinda hard to tell.
    The funny thing about this article, and the reason why I linked here from my blog, is that it’s kinda true. On the sruface Lost appears to be pure insanity, jumping from one story to another. The commercials make Lost out to be the most important show on ABCs schedule. And it’s true that J.J. Abrams left the show after the premiere (frankly I think that’s a good thing).
    What I thought was funny was how much raw energy there was in the post. So much hate towards this show that she obviously never watched. It’s just too much fun.
    PS – I love your avatar Jess D.Ripper.

  9. Dearies, this isn’t some board where I have to be mature. This blog is for Jess_d_ripper, Salome and I to hate on whatever we want. Lost happens to be chief among those things. If it’s just a show, why do you give a shit if we hate it or love it?

    The three of us used to watch this show religiously. It’s not our responsibility to keep watching it in the hopes that something good will happen along and make sense of just ONE of the 50 billion plot lines they’ve dropped. The raw hatred (which I see more as bemused annoyance, but to each her own) didn’t just happen overnight. It developed over the course of four seasons of bullshit and people who run this show telling me to hold on because everything will make sense, then, just as suddenly, telling me nothing would ever make sense because it was Lost, maaaaaan!

  10.’ve watched all four seasons. Well then, I can hardly criticize you. Good for you for staying on for so long.
    I guess we should just go our seperate ways, I’ll go back to my blog now.
    BTW, one last question. What’s that in your picture Tanis?
    – izi

  11. I have no problem with criticism. It’s the knee-jerk “you hate my show, therefore, you have nothing of value to say” idea that I don’t like. I hate the show because it has gotten progressively worse all the while bitching about shows that had similar issues, which I found especially offensive because they were on such a high horse with the “we won’t go the way of the X-Files” comments. But they went there much faster and in my opinion, have fallen much farther than the X-Files ever did. If there is a five year plan and at least SOME of it starts to make some kind of sense, then I guess I’ll have to eat my words, but I don’t see that happening.

  12. “I hate the show because it has gotten progressively worse all the while bitching about shows that had similar issues:

    This is not fact, don’t treat it like it is.

    Critics have praised Lost this season (and the end of S3) for getting back into the awesome stuff. It recieved Emmy nominations this year for the first time since season 1, I think. Season 4 has been critically acclaimed.

    Just accept the fact that the shows format and layout is not for you and that there’s probably a lot you don’t understand. I get that it would be frustrating to a lot of people to have to follow it as intricately as you have to but at least appreciate that maybe there’s some people that DO like doing that.

  13. Hey, crazy, it is very much a fact that a Lost producer bagged on The X-Files claiming Lost wasn’t like The X-Files where “nothing gets solved.”

    That is balls. There has been nothing on this show that has ever been satisfactorily explained, even with perfectly acceptable supernatural answer. At least the X-Files had five good seasons before going downhill. Lost managed one amazing season, started sucking royally in season two and went even further into a nosedive in season 3. So if season 4 helped to start pulling them out of that nosedive, great. That doesn’t mean they’re back to the level of season 1. They still have to convince me and they haven’t done that yet. As for Emmy nominations, please. They are not an indicator of awesomeness. Two and a Half Men has Emmys.

    Finally, I’m wondering just what it is about the “format” of this show that makes people put it up on some pedestal of smartness. Like if you don’t like it, then you’re just some bozo who doesn’t understand smart TV. Dag! I watched The Wire! I am down with complicated, intricate plotlines of serial television. I pay close, careful attention to my teevee shows. It’s not frustrating to do so when the writing is good and the plotlines pay off. Don’t insult me by being all “Whatsamatta, man? Don’t you like our smart people’s show? Maybe you’re just too dumb, dummy! It’s the stories they’re not telling!”

  14. Critics have praised Lost this season (and the end of S3) for getting back into the awesome stuff. It recieved Emmy nominations this year for the first time since season 1, I think. Season 4 has been critically acclaimed.

    I really don’t see how Season 4 was acclaimed. Granted, it had some top-notch episodes. But some were also mediocre, while others were crap. The writing behind some of the characters’ back stories were absolutely crap. At best, Season 4 was a slight improvement but a mixed bag for me.

  15. Okay I know this originally posted a while back, but I just found it and I’m glad I did. This has to be the only other place I’ve seen so far that reflects opinions of Lost that are negative or unfavorable. I have seen all episodes through season 4 (I just finished watching s4 tonight on dvd) but have yet to see any of season 5 and frankly, I don’t really give a shit if I see it or not. I was told that s4 was the best yet, but I found that the things that annoyed me about the show in previous seasons only got under my skin even more in this one. How many fucking times does this show need to rely on sudden outbursts of violence?? Of guns being pointed at others accompanied by threats like “If you don’t do it, I’ll kill you/you’re going to die,” etc. etc. Or of the swelling orchestral score in an attempt to add drama every time the camera shows something that might be unusual? Melodramatic bullshit. After the 10 billionth time of seeing Jack, Kate, Sawyer and the gang traipsing through the jungle and then suddenly drawing their arms when they hear a noise behind them, I’m not fucking surprised one bit when it turns out to be one of their own or the dog Vincent! And of course, every time they introduce someone new, it’s “this person said trust them, but that person said not to”, which inevitably leads to someone being tied up and held captive. There were some good episodes this season, and the show has some intriguing ideas, (I dug s1 and liked 2) but it seems to be overextending itself waaayy too much now. It’s just that there seems to be a lot of little things to scrutinize that don’t hold up very well. What’s with the ghostbuster guy Miles?? The show needs to better explain why he receives the information he does. He knows certain secrets of people and not others?? If he can communicate with spirits and knows peoples secrets, shouldn’t he know more about Ben and where to find him? Shouldn’t he be more of a leader? Why even send him, Dan, and Charlotte if you have these other mercenaries on the ship who are willing to kill everyone and apprehend Ben as soon as possible? Speaking of that, that Keemie guy (sp?) is one of the biggest douchebag characters I’ve seen on tv in a while. And when he got shot? You mean to tell me that the evil genius Ben (who is a good character and well cast), and the rest of the Others, who are expert tacticians and seasoned in guerilla warfare, didn’t check a guy decked out in full military garb for body armor after he was shot??? Then this guy recovers and treks through the jungle to find Ben without being noticed by the Others who, normally, are aware of such activity?? GIMMIE A FUCKIN BREAK!! I haven’t seen season 5 so maybe there’s something I don’t know about that situation, but holy shit come on. I know that was a long rant, but anyone, feel free to set me straight on these criticisms if you feel I ain’t right…

  16. I just watched a scene in Lost which had a couple of quotes in which completely sum up season 5 and the show in general. Sawyer – “The Party’s Over”. Hurley – “Seems kind of wishy-washy”. Spot on guys.

    Lost used to be great, it was one of the greatest shows on television. But as we get closer to the end many people have realised that the blanks simply aren’t going to be filled in and turned off. The lying producers spent ages on forums debunking fan theories which they’ve now ripped off and used in abundance in the now overly complicated plots.

    The big mistake came when the writers showed us the outcome of the show then spent the next 2 series filling in the blanks in between, seemingly making it up as they go along.

    I’ve just turned off the latest episode halfway through and I won’t be watching again.

    Goodbye Lost – you used to be great but somewhere along the way you got…. Lost.

  17. Pingback: Lost: I was blind but now I see (that this show sucked) « Boob Tube

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