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If you play the most recent episode of Ghost Whisperer backward…

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… it still says Jim is dead.

Oh, Ghost Whisperer! You are so predictably, delightfully bad!

I promise. This is the entry where I will catch everybody up on how ridiculous Ghost Whisperer is this season. But first!

Guess who’s hosting Saturday Night Live when it returns on January 10? You get three guesses and the first two aren’t awesome! You’ll have to read on to find out, but trust me when I say it’s going to be legen- wait for it. . .

dary!

indy

It’s Neil Patrick Harris, bitches! That’s right! NPH does SNL.

And if you click on the above photo, it will take you to the rest of the photos making the rounds of the Internets. They’re of the cast of How I Met Your Mother reenacting some of the best moments of 2008. I don’t really think the most recent Indy movie was that awesome, but I would’ve watched it if they’d featured Neil Patrick Harris instead of Shia LeBoeuf.

*********

OK. So. Ghost Whisperer.

Where were we? Right, riiiiiight. Jim died. Then, he came back in the body of another guy who died in a car accident. That guy, Sam, crossed over into the light. All by himself! Without any heart-wrenching angst or crying or help from Melinda! But another guy who died (oh, it was a veritable dead dude carnival that day!) saw Jim slip into Sam’s body. And he was NOT happy about it. In fact, he pestered Melinda about it for one whole episode before coming to realize that the ghost-talkin’ lady was totally right all along and I SHOULD just go into the light! You know what? I think I will!

And geez. It’s not like Melinda wasn’t having a hard enough time with that. See, she wanted Jim’s spirit to cross over. She loved him, she said, and she’d see him when it was her time. Not before.

So she and all of Jim’s EMT/firefighter/whatever the hell he was friends dance at his funeral to the Rascals song Good Lovin’, which would have been awesome had it not ended with Melinda dancing with her invisible ghost husband. Then, Melinda gets Delia to take down her “I don’t want to believe” poster to replace it with a “holy shit, Jim is still alive in another dude’s body!” poster. Melinda also starts to demand that Jim cross over.

Jim thinks this is stupid, so he carpes the diem at the scene of a car accident and does a “step-in” into the body of poor, dead Sam. And he’s alive! He’s ALIVE! Only problem is, he can’t remember who he is! Not as Sam, not as Jim. He’s a blank slate. This causes Sam’s family a little angst. They want him to move away from Grandview and back in with them until he gets his memory back. But that’s not going to happen, because Sam isn’t Sam anymore. What Sam was, was an architect and a strapping young lad, which is convenient, because Melinda’s garage/apartment is still not finished. She asks him to help her finish it. He agrees because he has nothing better to do. His parents and angry ghost do not agree. His family wants Sam to get his memory back. And angry ghost tells Melinda, rightly so, that she and Jim are depriving Sam’s family of their right to grieve their son’s death.

But then, because he sees Melinda help the police detective who shot Jim to deal with the death of his step daughter, angry ghost “sees the light” as it were. Unbelievable. Even the ghosts who are like “This is wrong!” come around to Melinda’s way of thinking in the end! He crosses over and Melinda is all “Sweet! Me and Sam As He Never Was will live a sweet life together when Jim eventually remembers he’s Jim in a new body and this won’t be weird or awkward AT ALL.” Except it is, a little bit. She’s all “Whoops! Saw your naked ass, Sam!” And he’s like “Don’t you knock?” No, Sam. No she does not. Not ever. But it looks like things are looking up for our supernatural couple.

NOT SO FAST! Recently, Sam made a wish in a haunted wishing well (what, you were expecting a regular wishing well? On this show?) and the ghost in the well grants it. Sort of. She gives him “a piece of his life back.” But she means Sam’s life, not Jim’s life. So he finds the key to a safe deposit box where he has stored an engagement ring that he plans to give to… somebody? BUT WHO? DUN DUN DUN!

Alright. Now that we’re all caught up and ready to help more lame ghosts. Also, spoilers I’ve read indicate various things. Things like: Melinda and Sam agree to begin dating. Melinda discovers she is pregnant. I don’t know how true those spoilers are, so believe them at your own risk.

I know they’re doing this whole “Jim’s dead, but psyche! Not really! OK, well, sort of.” thing because David Conrad wanted more to do on the show (or off completely, which is my theory) but it’s totally frickin’ weird that we see Sam as Jim almost all the time. I mean, what the hell kind of acting challenge is that? Usually, it works the other way around, you know? Like, Sam would be doing the heavy lifting acting as though he were Jim. Not Jim being like “I don’t remember me, so I’m going to speak in a slightly softer tone.” And EVERYBODY sees him as Jim. Hellooooo! You need to have the other dude sub in a little more than “here’s his reflection in a car window.” Because really, part of the thing I think would be difficult for Melinda to deal with is the fact that “her” Jim no longer looks like Jim. He looks like Kenneth Mitchell, who looks like…the kind of guy I secretly think is hot. He looks like Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Oh, and he’s Canadian. In fact, he went to school in Guelph. Where I live. Ghost Whisperer, you didn’t have to hire this guy just for me! But I’m glad you did.

We’ll see what happens here, but if “Jim” and Melinda live happily ever after, I will vomit.

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About Tanis

Badass, smokin' hot and overall nice to come home to.

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