Tonight’s the night folks! Conan is back! It’s his first show as host of The Tonight Show and I could not be happier! God, I’m so sick of Leno’s long, drawn out not-really goodbye. It will be great to have Big Red back!
I’ve been watching this tall drink of Irish water since 1993. I had just started baby sitting for my elementary school vice-principal’s kids. They were staying out super late and their kids were super little and went to bed super early, leaving me a lot of time to avoid doing algebra homework. It was at their creepy old house that I started watching the X-Files. I’d scare myself with that, then need something a little lighter so I wouldn’t feel the need to have every light in the house on. Thankfully, this was also the year that Conan premiered on late night. I loved him pretty much immediately, but over the years, it was fantastic watching him go from a nervous nobody to a hilarious and gracious host with an easygoing interview style and the best, most irreverent humour in the business.
Below are a few moments from Late Night that prove Conan is the best. I can only expect more awesome comedy from him in the future. Enjoy and don’t forget to tune in to Conan! Like, right now! Go watch!
10. I can’t stand Jim Carrey, but whenever he’s on Conan, he’s somehow tolerable. Conan makes everybody funny! Here, Conan and Carrey demonstrate excellent comedic timing:
9. One of my favourite Conan bits involves celebrities telling terrible secrets about themselves. I wish they had the U2 ones. They were the best.
8. Martha Stewart is one of my favourite guests that Conan has on again and again. Most of their segments involve the consumption of a lot of alcohol. Once, he made Martha eat a burrito and drink malt liquor. On a Christmas-themed episode, Martha showed him how to make eggnog, which he promptly spiked and guzzled. On St. Patrick’s Day, they drank Guiness and Martha made him a traditional Irish breakfast. He’s also been on her show numerous times. They’ve gone horse riding and glittered easter eggs, a ham and Conan himself. Here’s one of my favourite segments from his show when Martha showed him how to paint a wall.
7. A couple years ago, Conan discovered that he looked like Finnish president Tarja Halonen. He eventually visited Finland, but not before messing with the electoral process, releasing hi-larious ads attacking her opponents and mocking his resemblance to Halonen. It was a running joke that just kept on going.
6. Once, in a sketch about manatees, Conan casually adlibbed the line “hornymanatee.com” and accidentally forced NBC to buy the URL for the website. True story. They own it now. And it exists and features a wide variety of manatee on manatee action.
5. On Conan’s tenth anniversary special, Mr. T. appeared wearing a giant, gold necklace with a number 7 charm. Conan tells him he’s actually been on the air for ten years and T replies “I know that fool! You only been funny for seven!” Mr. T was one of Conan’s most memorable guests when he and Conan visited an apple orchard.
4. During the 2008 U.S. federal election, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart and Conan fought over who gave Mike Huckabee a bump in the polls by crossing over onto each others shows. My favourite part is when Colbert and Stewart are talking on Colbert’s set and Conan stands directly behind them. “Stephen,” Stewart says. “Is it just me, or are we losing the light?” Eventually, on the set of Late Night, it devolves into an epic Stooges-esque brawl, complete with hockey skates, Louisville Sluggers and some nice Sharks/Jets style finger snapping from Stewart and Colbert.
3. I LOVE Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. I loved it when Conan came to Canada. Two great tastes that taste great together!
2. When NBC bought the company that also owned Walker: Texas Ranger, Conan began employing the Walker Lever. When pulled, it would allow him to view any clip from said show. Behold. It’s not the clip so much as Conan’s reaction to it. Just kidding. It’s the clip.
1. Norm McDonald is the best talk show guest ever. The proof is right here. Again, it’s Conan’s reaction that is the best part of this.
Look, I think I speak for everyone in the entire world when I say that Conan is the best late night host. I’m so happy that he’s back. And I’m also extremely happy that I don’t have to watch Jay Leno for awhile. He’s kind of like genital herpes in that he’ll inevitably be back to annoy us, but until then, I’ll just enjoy my Leno-less Late Night and bask in the glow of Conan’s ultra-white skin! Welcome back, Red! We missed you!