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Fangs a lot, HBO!

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True Blood has been renewed for a third season! Also, Hung will be back. As will Entourage. Sigh. I wonder if Vince will do the movie? No I don’t.

You know what’s strange to me? Besides Entourage coming back when there is very clearly nothing left to say? That a few of my favourite online haunts appear to hate True Blood. I don’t get it. I mean, trust me, I understand the hatred for Twilight. I REALLY understand that. Those books and movies are TURRIBLE. I’m in it for the lulz. But True Blood? It’s got hot dudes, swearing, violence, gore, sex (so much sex), the supernatural and, um… they show a lot of Anna Paquin’s tits. Like… a lot. So much so that I am almost expecting a penis in return. Come on, Alan Ball. You know you want to!

So yeah, there are a few scenery chewers (Chris Bauer, I am looking in your direction. I don’t want to be looking in your direction because you get a free pass on this one for your work on the second season of The Wire) and some of the plots are dragging (I have now seen so many orgies at Maryanne’s that I am all orgied out – and I never thought I’d get an opportunity to say that) and the accents are not great (OK. Many are flat-out awful) but I am generally entertained and think some of these characters are fantastic.

Jessica and Hoyt (SO CUTE!), Lafayette and Terry (who are, like, PTSD buddies now), Sam and Jason (both so stupid, but both so hot), Pam and Eric (Pam is the best vampire, guys. And Alexander Sarsgaard is a deadpan treat) and most importantly, I think: Sookie. She is a seriously fantastic heroine. And I’m sorry to disappoint all the Vampire Bill lovers out there, but he’s SUCH a pill! Thank GOD they introduced Jessica to call him on his old-manisms! He’s got such a huge stick up his vampiric ass and I REALLY hope they follow the books in making him….

(Spoilers from the books after the jump!)

…betray Sookie and have her dump his wrinkled ass. Because I seriously will freak if they turn her into some lovey-dovey sap. I mean, she’s totally a romantic at heart, she wants the happy ending, but she’s also pretty realistic and resilient when it comes to her love life. Up until she meets the vamps, she’s been practically celibate, so it’s nice to see her blossom in the books. And it’s rare to see a strong female character unapologetically enjoying sex. While she’s not exactly cavalier about her sex partners, Sookie taps some pretty fine asses over the course of the books and spends a lot of time ogling others.

I’m happy the show is veering slightly from the plots of the Southern Vampire Mystery novels it’s based on because again, while I love the characters, plot points are telegraphed chapters before they happen and there’s a bunch of stuff that I thought I missed but it turns out it was all included in various short stories I haven’t read. Um. OK, Charlaine Harris. If you say so. I like the books fine. They’re a frothy distraction from heavier reading and I can finish it in a day. The TV show is much the same.

The weirdest complaint from somebody I’ve heard was about a throw-away line from shape-shifter Sam, who said he’d “run across a few werewolves.” The reviewer (Gabe from Videogum) practically threw up his metaphorical hands in frustration, all “OF COURSE THERE ARE WEREWOLVES! OH, SHOW!” Calm down, captain serious! Geez! Is it really so strange and terrible that a show about vampires and telepathic bar maids would feature werewolves? This is True Blood’s world and I think if you’re going to watch this show — even if you’re just going to hate watch it — you don’t get to be all high and mighty about there being other supernatural things going on. Others have simply said that they don’t get the appeal of the show at all. How can you not get it? People love vampire shit. This is some of the best! It is NOT like Twilight. That was my biggest concern and it’s been relieved, so I’m not really sure what the detractors don’t like about it. It’s funny, dirty, decadent and has ladies getting their sex on.

Whiners to the back! Let’s hope tonight’s episode wraps up this boring “Maryanne is totally a Maenad and so what?” plot. Because I’m tired of it.

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About Tanis

Badass, smokin' hot and overall nice to come home to.

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