The memorable moments from last night’s episode, after the jump:
Sookie is still having the dream naughties.
But maybe that’s a good thing, because as the Stackhouses and Vampire Bill return to town, they see that real life has gotten unreal. PS: Hee, “Bone Temps.”
By the way, not only are Maenads not allowed at my house, but grocery golems are also verboten.
The trio makes their first stop at Bill’s place, where they find Jessica, Hoyt, and an enthralled Maxine.
Meanwhile, Sam has been hiding out in Andy’s motel room, but when he gets a panicky phone call from Arlene summoning him to Merlotte’s, he loses control of his sense and goes over there. Surprise! It’s a trap!
Sookie and Bill make it to Sookie’s house, just in time for Lafayette to call and tell them to get the eff out. If I’d seen the grocery golem and then my living room all untidy, I would have been incandescent with rage. For a minute. Then I would have bounced.
But instead of flashing asses and elbows, Bill and Sookie stay a moment too long–just long enough to run into Maryann, who wants to know why they’re all up in her house. Here’s where Sookie’s rage kicks in. Bill tries to bite the Maenad, but her blood is 10W-30 or something and makes Bill hork. Maryann is more interested in Sookie, though and when she wants to know what Sookie is, Lady Stackhouse gives her the glow hand.
Guuurl, I know. It was weird the first time it happened to me, too.
While Sookie and Bill are playing with Maryann, Jason is storming Merlotte’s to free Sam and Andy.
He gets the black-eyed boozin’ crowd to disperse temporarily, but they won’t rest until they’ve captured Sam. Terry, who is functioning as the leader of this motley crew, has gone full peculiar.
Sam knows Maryann won’t stop until she gets what she wants, so he gives himself up to the throng.
Expecting Sookie at the door, Lafayette instead finds a chipper coed, who just cain’t leave until she gets her V. Bill feels otherwise.
Sookie gets her first look at an enthralled Tara…
…while Jason and Andy launch a stupid brilliant plan to fake the appearance of the God Who Comes. They have to improvise with a tree branch and road flares, because there’s never a Holocaust Cloak around when you need one. (I use mine as a makeshift Snuggie.)
Jason “smites” Sam, who shifts to a fly.
Ever conscientious, Sam reappears to put out the flares so they can at least prevent some destruction.
Back at Lafayette’s, Bill’s glamouring and Sookie’s telepathy combine to snap Tara out of her spell.
And for once in her life, when Tara needs her mama, she’s there.
Outside, Sookie mentions the chanting, which triggers Bill’s memory of reading about something he thought was just a myth.
He thinks he knows someone who may know more about what they’re dealing with, and tells Sookie to stay and keep her friends safe. He neglects to mention Hoyt and Jessica and that’s too bad, because Jessica has reached the end of her rope with Mama Fortenberry.
Finally, Bill makes his way to see the Queen, but although her guard says she’s expecting Mr. Compton, the Queen herself seems to be indisposed.