I did not cap TB last week. There were technical difficulties with the episode and then by the time I finished watching it, the egg wore me out. So let’s start with that.
As we find out later in this episode that it’s just an ordinary ostrich egg (thanks to Sookie asking Maryann the question on all our minds, “What is with the egg? Did you *lay* it?”), I’m still unsure as to why Eggs and Tara made a nest for it. Anyhoozle, Lafayette makes Sookie put on a white gown and come downstairs, where Maryann is all kitted out in Nana Stackhouse’s wedding dress.
Sookie’s apparently supposed to be Maryann’s maid of honor in the fuckin’ fucked up wedding ceremony to take place. Over at the Fortenberry’s, Mama is rockin’ out…
…while elsewhere Eric is playing Yahtzee with Queen Sophie, who’s totally wigged out about Bill being in looooove with a breather.
And while Eric does not fall in love with humans (He does not! Why–did you hear something about any humans who are blonde and named Sookie being in love with him?), he is slightly emo about not having tasted her.
But not as upset as the Queen is at the thought of someone finding out she’s behind the V-selling. Mostly I capped this because Lord, her fangs are huge.
Eric’s look positively dainty in comparison.
Jason (who loves the smell of nail polish in the morning) and Andy head to Sookie’s house, where it takes them approximately 30 seconds to become enthralled.
Having returned from the Queen’s, Bill is at Merlotte’s, persuading Sam to see things the vampire’s way.
And back inside the Stackhouse abode, the bridesmaids are licking the egg because ew.
Then it’s time for the ceremony to begin, which Lafayette kicks off by placing the bull’s head on the grocery golem (sometimes I can’t believe these words I type). He admonishes the crowd to “worship, bitches.”
Sam is brought out, Eggs stabs him and then Sookie goes full Kanye on this wedding. She smashes the ostrich egg and then gives the grocery golem the glow hand:
This next cap is not really relevant to the plot–I just put it in because it may be the hottest Bill’s looked all season. Mostly because you can’t see his bangs.
Anyway, as you can imagine, Maryann is pissed about Sookie’s ruining the ceremony and chases Sook down after sprouting some claws.
But oh, what’s this? The prettiest bull ever has just shown up!
Spoiler: It’s not Bacchus. It’s Sam. And Maryann, you just got gored. That really just happened. Maybe. All that counts is that you believe it did.
With Maryann dead, everyone returns to normal. Over at the Fortenberry’s, Hoyt tells Maxine about some of the stuff she said while she was enthralled and finds out the story she told about his father’s death was true, after all. Having found out that his mother kept the story of his father’s suicide from him for years, Hoyt storms out.
At the Stackhouse home, Andy gets his job back and everyone else tries to get themselves together.
The next day, everyone tries to get back to normal and for most people, normal=Merlotte’s. And here’s our author cameo. Unlike some vampire authors, Ms. Charlaine actually gets a line.
Arlene apologizes repeatedly to her children for neglecting them the past few days. Meanwhile, Terry wears this shirt.
Lafayette is glad not to know what happened.
But Eggs is tormented by not knowing and asks Sookie to help him remember. Unfortunately, they’re successful and he remembers killing the hoodoo exorcist.
Later that evening, Bill and Jessica leave for respective dates, with Jessica saying she’s going to apologize to Hoyt. I don’t think he’s at the truck stop, Jessica! Or in that dude’s jugular.
Oh, there he is! On your porch. 😦
At Merlotte’s, Eggs confesses to Andy about the murders. Andy tries to calm him down, but Eggs is wracked with grief and crazed, pushing Andy to the ground and waving the bloody dagger around. Coming upon the scene, Jason fatally shoots Eggs.
Sam tracks down his adoptive parents and gets the address of his biological parents, although contacting them is against his adoptive mother’s advice. She (and her husband) abandoned Sam, so I don’t know if they’re the best for advice, though. On their date, Bill proposes to Sookie, who flips out. She can’t say yes, she can’t say no–all her circuits are overloaded.
So she excuses herself to the restroom, where she takes a breath and makes her decision.
I am pretty sure that this closeup of Bill’s hands is meant to draw attention to the fact that the hands we see next…
…are gloved, so as to not to touch the silver chain.
In any case, when Sookie comes hollering “Yes!” into the dining room, this is all she finds.
And that’s all until next season.