Well, here’s a sentence I never thought I’d be typing: CBS has cancelled Ghost Whisperer!
I’m very emo about this. Right, J.Lo.Hew?
CBS cancelled a lot of shitty shows, actually. And we’re going to take a look at those shows, but first!
Ghost Whisperer, you were a formidable opponent. You were a punchline to many a lazy humour writer who would be like “single cat ladies love watching Ghost Whisperer and eating ice cream on Friday nights, amiright?”
Yes, OK? I am single. And I have cats. And who am I to turn down ice cream? I also would sometimes watch Ghost Whisperer. But I would only enjoy making fun of how TERRIBLE it was.
But seriously. I owe this awful show a debt of gratitude. To this day, the Ghost Whisperer recap entry I wrote about the second season opener where Melinda helps her best friend Andrea cross over to the light is the most accessed post on this site. Sniff. I’m so proud!
Well show, it has been fun. So much fun. Remember when you had Professor Jay Mohr on? And then, when he left, Dr. Jamie Kennedy? And there were all those nightgowns and all that eye makeup and the terrible, terrible over-the-top musical cues (Hi, Mark Snow!) and the glycerine tears. I presume they bought them by the truckload.
So. It is with this gratitude and love that I announce my intention to recap the final episode of this television miracle. It airs Friday. Pray for me, guys! And let’s all toss in a few prayers for an eventual made for TV movie. You know, if they can find the budget for new nightgowns.
Find out what other terrible shows CBS cancelled after the jump!
Gary Unmarried. Nooooo! Professor Jay Mohr! We never knew ye flop sweat! Or did we? Yes. Yes we did know it. A lot.
The New Adventures of Old Christine. Emmy be damned, this was a mediocre show that was funny never. The post-Seinfeld curse continues unabated! Ausiello claims ABC covets this show. I do not know why, since they have an ACTUAL funny show in Modern Family. Steer clear, ABC! There are plenty of terrible NEW shows you can have!
Accidentally on Purpose. I accidentally never watched one episode of this nightmarefest. Wait, no. I mean that I purposefully never watched one episode of it. It is basically the worst show and it stars the worst actress, Jenna Elfman.
Miami Medical. I literally do not know what this is. And now that it’s been cancelled, do you really need me to find out for you? Too bad.
Cold Case. Let’s let Tracie Thoms go be a fierce bitch in the movies, shall we? And let’s all take a moment to ponder the greatest question that ever came out of this show, perhaps any show: What is up with Lilly’s hair?
Numb3rs. Math show about math. Despite the fact that I am basically numerically illiterate, I really liked this show. It was my REAL guilty pleasure on Friday nights. Seriously. What’s worse for my rep, admitting I like a show about the occult, or admitting I like a show about math? Math. Duh. I haven’t watched it in, like, two years, but I liked the thrilling mathventures of two brothers and their grizzled father, Judd Hirsch. Venn diagrams! Fractions! Foci of a Hyperbola! Pi! The Sandwich Theorum! I’m hungry! It’s over!
But not so fast! CBS still has a show about a chick who has psychic abilities (sorta?) in Medium, which it snatched away from the incompetent clutches of NBC. I laughed really hard when they let that show go to CBS because even though it’s not very good, it’s still really popular with people who like shitty TV shows. Even then I thought NBC was stupid. And this was back before they fucked over Conan O’Brien by putting Jay Leno on at 10 p.m. and shuffling around their schedule and cancelling a ton of hour-long dramas that WOULD have aired at 10 p.m.
CBS also still has a shitty sitcom that is so terrible you would think it wasn’t even on the air anymore. Hellllooooo Rules of Engagement. *shudder* I don’t think I can live in a world that cancels Arrested Development and lets the coke-bloated human mini-monster that is David Spade shamble around on his own show.