Bill and the last wolf, a charming lad named Cooter, are about to face off when the King of Mississippi rides up and commands the wolf to heel. The wolves were sent by the King to retrieve Bill for some purpose that I’m sure is wholesome and on the up and up.
The King is nonplussed about any of the events of the previous night, save the wolves’ drinking from Bill. For that, the terrible rotten King, that deadass motherfucker, shoots the last remaining wolf who’s not named Cooter. Farewell, Louis. We literally hardly knew ye. And sorry, Coot. Vampires are assholes.
After the credits, we check in with the wonderful, inimitable Lafayette, who’s finally busted down the bathroom door to rescue Tara. Tara’s mama flails around ineffectually while Lafayette, as per usual, gets shit done. “You’ve failed this girl for the last time, you hear me? Now get the fuck on out my way.”
Eric claims not to recognize the symbol, but has Pam take Jessica to the bathroom for some quality staring into the mirror, which quickly turns into “Pam, can I ask you a hypothetical question like if someone were to accidentally kill someone while feeding on them–first of all, how do you not do that? And also, if you did–I didn’t but I heard about someone–my friend–who did…if you did kill someone, what would you do with the body, hypothetically?”
Eric maintains that he has no idea about birthin’ no werewolves and furthermore, neither does Sookie, who has no friends in the were community. He would also rather Sookie not cry, because that makes him feel disturbingly human in his pants. But after Jessica reminds Sookie that the teen vamp has to be home before sunrise and the girls leave, Eric straps us in for a flashback. And we blast back to 1945 Bavaria. You know in Bavaria we have a saying: Ich wette du bist ein Taubenlecker. Wait, what were we talking about? Anyhoozle, Godric (Heeeeeeeeeey!) and Eric are undercovs as SS officers and they’re hunting down Werwolf. Ooh, they found one!
Lafayette finally relents on his trip to take Tara to the hospital and they pause to have a chat. Wise as always, he tells her that life is not about not having problems but rather, learning to deal with the ones we got. Then he tells her he’s going to show her something.
Sookie drops off Jessica at Bill’s house, where Hoyt is waiting. Hoyt is as sweet as always, but Jessica is convinced that it’s in her nature to be a monster and sadly turns down Hoyt when he suggest that they fight their natures together.
Back at Sookie’s, she runs into a restless Jason and the siblings try to clean up some of the post-Maryann mess. The lady Stackhouse confesses that she can’t get right with doing nothing when every phone call or knock at the door leaves her expecting to hear a breathy “Sookeh.” A+ for Anna Paquin’s delivery.
Lafayette explains to Tara that he brought her to the clinic because they have darkness in their family that they both have to fight against. And also to impress upon her that if she tries to commit suicide again, he’ll get her a room right next to his mama, but without a nurse as fine as Jesus.
The lady herself is at home, cradling her .38. Listen, darlin’–and any young folk out there who find themselves up against werewolves: don’t wait with a .38. You want peace of mind? Run for your lives before they tear your legs from under you.
Sookie hears a noise on the porch but it’s Eric, who tells her that he lied to her about not recognizing the symbol. He takes us all up in his beautiful balloon, back to that flashback, where he’s trying to get the truth.
He’s a Viking? Ohhhhh, a vampire. Anyway, one of the reasons why you don’t give blood to supes is because it makes their freakish strength even freakier and so she escapes her bondage and attacks Eric, so Godric snaps her neck. Eric chagrins like he’s in a book with Nedward Nullen.
Second course at the King’s: blood bisque with rose petals. By the way, the gist of the King’s holding Bill is that he wants Bill to work for him and he wants to start a battle and blah blah blah something Mississippi.
Anyway, while Arlene’s morning sicknessing in the Does’ room, Terry is waiting outside with his ten-point list of reasons why she shouldn’t be afraid to have him around her children. “Number one: I’m a nurturer. I found a baby armadillo by the side of the road and I nursed it. Now it sleeps under my bed. Its name’s Felix.” The Best. Just as Terry’s starting number 3 (he never killed nothin’ by accident), Arlene has to rush back into the Does’.
While Tara is sucking down Wild Turkey out back of Merlotte’s, two fine specimens wander out back also and point out the spot where Eggs died. This prize urinates on the spot and gets Tara’s fist in his jaw in return.
Bill is quick with the lantern this time, though.