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“Beautifully Broken,” True Blood: In Pictures.

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Where were we? Oh, yes. Last time we were in Bon Temps, Bill was meeting up with some werves. Let’s check in on them after the jump, shall we? [NSFW]

Bill, that ain’t cool.

Bill and the last wolf, a charming lad named Cooter, are about to face off when the King of Mississippi rides up and commands the wolf to heel. The wolves were sent by the King to retrieve Bill for some purpose that I’m sure is wholesome and on the up and up.

Yes, Bill. Cooter.

The King is nonplussed about any of the events of the previous night, save the wolves’ drinking from Bill. For that, the terrible rotten King, that deadass motherfucker, shoots the last remaining wolf who’s not named Cooter. Farewell, Louis. We literally hardly knew ye. And sorry, Coot. Vampires are assholes.

The King orders Bill to come with him to go be vampire assholes together at the King’s manse.

After the credits, we check in with the wonderful, inimitable Lafayette, who’s finally busted down the bathroom door to rescue Tara. Tara’s mama flails around ineffectually while Lafayette, as per usual, gets shit done. “You’ve failed this girl for the last time, you hear me? Now get the fuck on out my way.”

Sookie and Jessica have gone back to Fangtasia to share what they’ve learned about Operation Werwolf with Eric.

“Nazi werewolves!” You da best, Jessica.

Eric claims not to recognize the symbol, but has Pam take Jessica to the bathroom for some quality staring into the mirror, which quickly turns into “Pam, can I ask you a hypothetical question like if someone were to accidentally kill someone while feeding on them–first of all, how do you not do that? And also, if you did–I didn’t but I heard about someone–my friend–who did…if you did kill someone, what would you do with the body, hypothetically?”

Eric maintains that he has no idea about birthin’ no werewolves and furthermore, neither does Sookie, who has no friends in the were community. He would also rather Sookie not cry, because that makes him feel disturbingly human in his pants. But after Jessica reminds Sookie that the teen vamp has to be home before sunrise and the girls leave, Eric straps us in for a flashback. And we blast back to 1945 Bavaria. You know in Bavaria we have a saying: Ich wette du bist ein Taubenlecker. Wait, what were we talking about? Anyhoozle, Godric (Heeeeeeeeeey!) and Eric are undercovs as SS officers and they’re hunting down Werwolf. Ooh, they found one!

She says they’re on the same side, but after Eric discovers her brand, he feels otherwise.

The King and Bill have made it back, where Bill is being shown his room with its totally not foreboding at all silver-reinforced door.

Lafayette finally relents on his trip to take Tara to the hospital and they pause to have a chat. Wise as always, he tells her that life is not about not having problems but rather, learning to deal with the ones we got. Then he tells her he’s going to show her something.

Sookie drops off Jessica at Bill’s house, where Hoyt is waiting. Hoyt is as sweet as always, but Jessica is convinced that it’s in her nature to be a monster and sadly turns down Hoyt when he suggest that they fight their natures together.

Back at Sookie’s, she runs into a restless Jason and the siblings try to clean up some of the post-Maryann mess. The lady Stackhouse confesses that she can’t get right with doing nothing when every phone call or knock at the door leaves her expecting to hear a breathy “Sookeh.” A+ for Anna Paquin’s delivery.

Sam meets his real family. Except for his teenage brother, whom we met last week, they all seem happy to see him.

This (were) dude is (were) spying on Sookie.

When Sookie and Terry go into the woods looking for the mysterious (were) dude, Terry finds a motorcycle boot print.

Speaking of fashion, I’m glad to see those goldenrod lenses make a return, Ter.

Dude’s prints seem to disappear as if he’d turned into a narwhal or a turtle or a blue-footed booby or you know, a wolf. One of those.

Lafayette’s show and tell is at the Meadowglade Clinic, where Tara is concerned he’s having her committed.

He is actually bringing Tara to see his mother, who’s a patient at the nervous hospital. That’s Jesus with Lafayette’s mother, who helpfully informs us all that Jesus is a “Messican.” Servicey!

Lafayette’s mama tells Jesus that God killed Lafayette because he’s gay. When she sees Tara, she says, “God killed you, too.” “Almost.”

While Terry and Sookie are discussing the mysterious man in the woods, Arlene has been outside hollering for help for the last TEN MINUTES!

After she storms out and Sookie declines to tell her about Terry’s good points, telling him instead to tell Arlene herself, Terry gives Sookie a girl’s best friend.

He also tells Sookie that she’s a real nice person and he likes her and he doesn’t want to see her dead or nothin’ because he’d miss her.

Lafayette explains to Tara that he brought her to the clinic because they have darkness in their family that they both have to fight against. And also to impress upon her that if she tries to commit suicide again, he’ll get her a room right next to his mama, but without a nurse as fine as Jesus.

Sibling bonding!

Jessica is still singing her Accidental Dead Guy Blues. I’m sure that guy was a great father when he wasn’t skeeving on teenage girls at truck stops.

First course at the King’s: chilled carbonated blood.

Andy is the wind beneath Jason’s wings.

Sam’s brother is a dick.

Someone in cowboy boots pokes around Bill’s house while Jessica is out renting a chainsaw. Cowboy boots stumbles upon a way creepy dossier that Bill’s apparently keeping on his Sookeh.

The lady herself is at home, cradling her .38. Listen, darlin’–and any young folk out there who find themselves up against werewolves: don’t wait with a .38. You want peace of mind? Run for your lives before they tear your legs from under you.

Sookie hears a noise on the porch but it’s Eric, who tells her that he lied to her about not recognizing the symbol. He takes us all up in his beautiful balloon, back to that flashback, where he’s trying to get the truth.

After giving her some blood, although as you can see before the jump, Godric is not cool with that, she tells him.

He’s a Viking? Ohhhhh, a vampire. Anyway, one of the reasons why you don’t give blood to supes is because it makes their freakish strength even freakier and so she escapes her bondage and attacks Eric, so Godric snaps her neck. Eric chagrins like he’s in a book with Nedward Nullen.

Back in real time, he tells Sookie that she has two choices: invite him in so he can protect her or invite him in so he can protect her and something something something…they bone.

Second course at the King’s: blood bisque with rose petals. By the way, the gist of the King’s holding Bill is that he wants Bill to work for him and he wants to start a battle and blah blah blah something Mississippi.

Anyway, while Arlene’s morning sicknessing in the Does’ room, Terry is waiting outside with his ten-point list of reasons why she shouldn’t be afraid to have him around her children. “Number one: I’m a nurturer. I found a baby armadillo by the side of the road and I nursed it. Now it sleeps under my bed. Its name’s Felix.” The Best. Just as Terry’s starting number 3 (he never killed nothin’ by accident), Arlene has to rush back into the Does’.

Lafayette had brought Tara to work so she wouldn’t be alone, so she’s moping in the corner when a man approaches, looking for service. He’s one of those deadass motherfuckers Coot warned us about.

Oh and look what he has on his feet!

Meanwhile, Jessica is returning home with her rented chainsaw to find that her crawlspace is empty.

Andy decides to give a drunken Jason a ride home and as they’re pulling out, dispatch radios about a meth lab bust in Hotshot. Kenya is not thrilled to see Andy there off-duty or Jason there at all.

In Hotshot, we meet one Calvin Norris…

…while Jason has an encounter with the skittish Crystal Norris…

…then busts one of the other Norrises with some meth.

While Tara is sucking down Wild Turkey out back of Merlotte’s, two fine specimens wander out back also and point out the spot where Eggs died. This prize urinates on the spot and gets Tara’s fist in his jaw in return.

Our mysterious new vampire friend shows up to teach these boys some manners. Or you know, to hold that one dude while Tara whales on him.

New vampire dude (let’s just call him “Franklin”) gets all excited by the violence because vampires are assholes, c’mon.

3rd course at the King’s: blood gelato with a mint garnish.

Also: this tedious bitch.

Bill is quick with the lantern this time, though.

“This is awesome.”

Back at the Stackhouse, Eric is still trying to charm his way into something.

Sensing something from inside, he insists that Sookie let him in, in a scene that shall be played out in fanfics for MONTHS.

And he’s spoiling for a fight when he gets in because in conclusion, vampires are assholes.

“Don’t you know I’m loco?”

Again with the .38, this one.


About Salome G

Raised by werewolves.

One response »

  1. Pingback: “It Hurts Me Too,” True Blood: In Pictures « Boob Tube

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