Well, they got the horror part right.
These guys know what I’m talkin’ about:
The good, the bad, the camp, of Rocky Horror Glee Show after the jump.
That was Santana singing Science Fiction Double Feature, yo! Good job, Naya!
– Riff Raff!
Chris Colfer is clearly fond of the character and the movie. Excellent job on the voice, the cadence and the high kicks!
– Even the THOUGHT of Mike Chang in revealing undawears is givin’ me the heavy fretting! I mean, zowie! (I remain in my bunk over this dude, dudes.)
– Artie being a not-so-secret PERV. (Nuff said.)
– “Give me chocolate or I will cut you!”
Look guys! Becky dressed as Sue for Halloween so nobody else has to!
– Sam is my second favourite character after Mike Chang.
Cool Ranch Doritos do a body good! Also, the line: “The Brad part isn’t about looking hot, it’s about feeling confident in who you are and how you look no matter how douchey you are.” Ooooh. New Burnswick!
– There’s some sort of plot about Sue, but honestly, she lost me at crusty scabs. Of course, she found me again when she gave Becky her megaphone and told her to “go yell at some fatties.”
– The Schue/Emma/Carl triangle appears to be mirroring the Artie/Tina/Mike triangle. I mean… I’m supposed to want Schue and Artie to win here, is that the idea? Because Schue is being a gross, immature dink trying to steal a happy girl from a stand-up guy who appears to really be helping her. Whatever. I’m so glad he learns his lesson at the end of Every. Freaking. Episode. What is this, Full House? Oh. Right. Also, Artie is behaving terribly toward Tina. AND Brittany. AND Santana. AND Rachel. Don’t make Schue make you sing What It Feels Like For A Girl again, Arthur! Despite that, Tina might still have feelings for him. Meanwhile, Mike Chang is busily writing her name in an adorable heart. I think the show has mixed up the idea of who should end up with the girl here. Carl and Mike are sweeties, they’re easy on the eyes and they can really shake a groove.
– I have a friend who had a serious argument with his brother about whether or not John Stamos could be considered a Beach Boy because he played percussion on Kokomo. Like it or not, he did do that. And he can sing. And yet, autotune on Hot Patootie. WHY?
– Quinn playing Magenta. No. Just no, OK? Quinn should’ve played Janet. “But what about Rachel?” What ABOUT Rachel? Shut up, Rachel! Why do you always get to sing/scream/cry all the songs? This episode wasn’t even CLOSE to being about you! And yet you sang all the songs!
Your voice is WAY too powerful for the breathy role of Janet. Sit this one out, Rachel. Just be a supporting player for once.
– As far as looking forward to seeing people in the Frank N Furter costume… Mercedes, you are no Mike Chang.
Maybe it’s because she’s from “SINSATIONAL” TRANSYLVANIA and that is not a thing? The changing of the lyrics was supposed to be some sort of meta commentary about how Schue ain’t care about this show and he’s just doin’ it to get into Emma’s prissy, A-line skirts, but it was mostly just… awful.
It should, however, be noted that Santana and Brittany make an excellent Magenta and Columbia, respectively. Good tap dancing from Tina in the Columbia role, too.
– Finn makes a pretty great Brad because he’s just so awkward and wooden. I’m having trouble deciding if Corey Monteith is a really good actor, or a really terrible actor cast in the perfect part. I do have one quibble about his portrayal of Brad. And it’s a doozy:
He had TONS to sing tonight. And yet, he gets to wail in Time Warp on lines that are clearly Riff Raff’s part, when Chris Colfer absolutely nailed the part. What is UP with that?
– You can mention scissoring on this show and nobody says boo, but the lyrics to Toucha-Toucha-Touch Me must be changed from “There’s no use in getting/into heavy petting” to “There’s no use in getting/into heavy sweating” and “It only leads to trouble/and seat wetting” to “It only leads to trouble and bad fretting.” Really? REALLY!? Heavy sweating? Jesus. Do teenagers even know what heavy petting IS anymore? No. They do not. Because they are too busy FUCKING.
On my “ranking embarrassing episodes of Glee” scale of one to 10, one being hideous and 10 being horrawful, this was an eight. Because though Schue is right, Rocky Horror IS about misfits finding their places, it is also about DRAG! So it seems wrong somehow that not one single person was in drag in this entire episode! Especially when you consider that The Drew Carey Show did this exact same theme almost ten years ago on ABC. You are FOX, FOX! Grow a pair!
Ultimately, though I *HATE* to agree with Schue on anything, but all the “bad fretting” about how you can’t expose the chilluns to this horrible, insidious camp musical just seems quaint when you compare it to stuff they see online. The episode reminds us of the pearl clutching that’s going on over the GQ photo shoot that Diana Agron, Lea Michelle and Cory Monteith took part in. The controversy is over how overtly sexual the photos are, but really, the bigger problem is that the photos are TERRIBLE! This show makes a big, hairy deal about how sexual Rocky Horror is and how evil the censors, but it’s just a smokescreen for how terrible the show itself is.
And yet… I cannot wait until next week. I should probably apologize that there was no full recap for 2X04: Duets. I got busy with getting a new job. There probably won’t be a full recap for the Rocky Horror episode either as I’m kind of exhausted and I have a Halloween party to plan. You’ll take what I give you and like it!