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When good people make BAD TV Part I – CSI

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A few weeks ago, I mentioned to Salome that I was watching CSI (She laughed at me) because I suspected Ted Danson would be so much better than Lawrence Fishburne.

My suspicions were correct.

Danson, though he started out doing what amounted to a Jimmy Stewart impression, has been a breath of fresh air on this stagnant show as new criminalistics boss D.B. Russell. (L.B. Jeffries = D.B. Russell. Jimmy Stewart impression case closed. You’re welcome.)

But why wouldn’t he be good? He was very, very good on Damages, still impresses on Bored to Death, and honestly just has a very good track record because who can ignore Cheers? Cheers was fucking great!

So it was with open arms that I welcomed Danson to one of my favourite dumb shows. Unfortunately, the writing on CSI took about 18 steps back. I’ve been waiting for it to pick up, but after last night’s ridiculous Jump The Shark Moment, I doubt it will.

On last night’s episode, Crime After Crime, three unrelated cases are suddenly related and whoops! Turns out Sam Vega, everyone’s favourite latino homicide detective is actually a dirty, killer cop who would rather be shot down dead in a hail of police bullets than be taken alive.

It was meeeeeeee!


OK. FINE. He did it. That’s dandy. But the lead-up was just sooooo terrible! The team members (D.B., Catherine, Nick, Sarah, Greg and some blonde new girl who I don’t even know) spend all their time figuring out that their current cases are related in that they’re all retaliation for unsolved cold cases of the past. Coincidentally, all the cold cases were worked by the only four police officers our heroes have contact with on a daily basis: Brass, Vartaan, Vega and the new sheriff, Sherry Liston.

That would have been an excellent opportunity to give the actors who play the cops a little more room to shine. Since, you know, this show has completely done away with the premise that homicide detectives do anything other than stand by crime scenes waiting for the true heroes, the CSIs.

Why not figure out right the fuck away that the new cases are related to old ones and that whoever is resurrecting cold cases MUST be involved with the justice system somehow? From there, it is a quick jump to realize that the detectives have easy access to old evidence from their own cases. Then your episode is suddenly about suspecting a friend and colleague of terrible crimes — hell, maybe even more than THESE crimes — and you have some emotional pathos on your hands.

But noooooo.

It’s like this show is out of options for characters. And money, since I imagine it cost a pretty penny to bring Danson to the table. You might have noticed that this season, there are only two lab techs being featured with any regularity. Hodges and Henry, who is now doing double duty, working as both the Tox and DNA tech. They make mention of Archie and Mandy and sometimes even Bobby Dawson, but they haven’t been seen this season.

Instead of bringing in new characters, they’re just like “Um, I dunno. That guy did it.”

It’s just so lazy.

Anyway, I can’t stand watching good acting go to waste on a terrible show. Ted Danson doesn’t deserve this. Time to end this shit show.


About Tanis

Badass, smokin' hot and overall nice to come home to.

One response »

  1. My wife and I both enjoyed CSI until Danson but because of our like for the show we stayed the first year and 2 or 3 of the next year. Had enough of Danson and left the show. Danson needs to go back to something like Cheers as that is all he is good far so some say. My dead mother in law could do better.\


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