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Category Archives: Late Night

Slash is Team Coco, Max Weinberg not so much

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You thought all this Conan O’Brien stuff was going to calm down, I bet. Well you were wrong.

Longtime Team Coco member Saul Hudson (AKA Slash) has always been happy to appear on Conan’s late night couch, stage and even took part in a sketch where he and Conan went guitar shopping on Craigslist.

Well, Slash’s loyalty was cemented last night when he performed on Jay Leno. Because he did so wearing a Team Coco pin.

Not like you’d see much of it. NBC went out of their way to edit around it. Gawker has a clip of the performance.

But rumours are spreading (and who are we to ignore rumours?) that Conan’s bandleader Max Weinberg (Also of E-Street Band fame) is ready to jump ship to be Jay Leno’s bandleader when Kevin Eubanks leaves. Say it with us: GROSS. Join us in hoping that this isn’t true.

Also, an article in the New York Times discusses Conan’s adaption to websites like Twitter. And asserts that he had help from his staff in joining the social media site. Which prompted the hash tag #helpingconan to start trending.

Oh, Coco. So much drama!

Conan sells out

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In record time, too!

The Internet’s favourite beleaguered late-night host is coming to cities near us (and you!) and we could not be happier.

The Mean Girls have been following the post-feud news like crazy. We all follow Conan on twitter, we watched Andy Richter bitterly savage NBC and Leno on ABC’s Regis and Kelly, we watched the soft-focus Oprah interview with Jay (THE WORST!) and then ignored his terrible, terrible return to the Tonight Show, and now, we are all attending Conan’s North American “legally prohibited from being funny on television” concert tours.

Four for you, Coco!

Two of us will be in the Big Smoke when Conan comes North (thanks for not holding those Olympic closing ceremonies against us, Coco) and one of us will be looking on in Hotlanta (if Ticketmaster ever stops being a g-d b).

If I was a rich a-hole, I’d be all over these meet and creep tickets, but I can’t afford that shizz, so floor seats in the T-dot will have to do. I’m pumped!

You can try your luck at ticketmaster, but I went straight to the venue for tickets. For more info, visit TeamCoco.com.

Bye everybody, bye!

Keep cool, my babies. Keep cool.

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Class. Act.

Class. Act.


“All I ask of you is one thing: please don’t be cynical.
I hate cynicism — it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.”

— Conan O’Brien

Ratings surge for Conan

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Whoops! Could there be anything more personally satisfying than trouncing your newfound enemy in the ratings almost immediately after one of his big-wig pals calls you an astounding failure?

I really would like Conan to have Norm MacDonald on his show. They could talk about how various NBC executives have told them that they are unfunny losers right after firing them.

Speaking of Norm, he warned Conan this would happen.

Soooo… what’s new, NBC?

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Nothing? Yeah.

If I have said it once, I have said it a million, billion times. There is not enough Law & Order on television.

And YOU KNOW how much we value Jerry Seinfeld’s contribution to pop culture and the idea that there are no refs in real life. Unlike on his new show, The Marriage Reg, which will air in the place of Leno’s show when it’s finally dragged out into an alley and shot.

Really, what NBC should do is combine these two ideas into one show. Law & Order: What’s the Deal With All These Rapes?

You are welcome, NBC. It’s the least we can do as we watch you decimate a once-proud TV institution with genius programming ideas like “MORE LAW & ORDER!” Somebody get these guys the Nobel Prize for TV Programming!

Oh, and NBC will also fill the time with another semi-reality show thing hosted by a former NBC star: Lisa Kudrow’s,Who Do You Think You Are?, a show that traces the genealogy of celebrities.

This isn’t harsh at all, considering that Lisa Kudrow is also — bum-bum-bum! — Conan’s ex!

In other non-Late Night feud news, can somebody please explain to me how this show Past Life, is being made, but Dollhouse is cancelled?

DR. KATE MCGINN (Kelli Giddish) is not your typical psychologist. Confident, outspoken and highly educated, she works at The Talmadge Center for Behavioral Health in New York City, a world-renowned institute dedicated to the study of the science of the soul. After experiencing a past-life regression in her 20s, Kate became a believer in reincarnation. Using therapy and her natural gift for reading people, Kate helps solve the mysteries of her troubled clients by investigating their consciousness. She believes there are levels of consciousness and explanations for human behavior that science can’t begin to explain. Accustomed to skeptics, but not bothered by them, Kate is an unapologetic believer and a force of nature who marches to the beat of her own drum.

Her partner, PRICE WHATLEY (Nicholas Bishop), is a different story. A former NYPD homicide detective, pragmatic and cynical, Price is a damaged soul who constantly battles grief and guilt over the accidental death of his wife. Price feels that Kate, though not certifiable, certainly operates on the fringes of science. It’s a volatile relationship, but with Price’s solid detective skills and Kate’s penchant for out-of-the-box thinking, together they make a formidable, albeit somewhat dysfunctional, team.

An emotional thrill ride, each episode finds Price and Kate working with their colleagues to unravel a new mystery. DR. MALACHI TALMADGE (Richard Schiff) is Kate’s mentor and the center’s namesake, an avuncular but gruff elder statesman who is a legend in the field of cognitive research. DR. RISHI KARNA (Ravi Patel) is the rookie of the group, an energetic M.D. who loves bad TV, Cuban jazz and driving everyone crazy.

I mean, this is basically an episode of The X-Fringe (TM Salome) stretched into a series. Except that Dr. Rishi Karna sounds like he is auditioning to be my best friend. He loves bad TV! So he will love this show!

I know everybody is entertaining the idea of loving Fox because they appear to be waiting eagerly for Conan to be free to do a late night show for them, but I gotta say, I don’t trust a network that can’t figure out how to promote a show that’s basically “hot, fightin’ chicks are hot now.”

Beware, Conan. Fox has ruined men like yourself.

Jimmy Kimmel tells Leno he’s a jag TO HIS FACE

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This late night war continues to be interesting.

Last night, Jay Leno, king of everything he surveys, had Jimmy Kimmel on his 10@10 segment, likely to reprimand him for his very funny performance earlier this week when he spent his entire show dressed as Leno, complete with wig, chin prosthesis and lisp, and then interviewed Chevy Chase, who came out dressed as Conan. I’m very sure Leno expected Kimmel to be embarrassed and apologetic.

Unfortunately for Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel was not having any of that. This interview is an exercise in awkwardness that devolves into a squirmy public shaming.

I especially love the part at the end where Kimmel tells Leno that he and Conan have families to think of, but all Leno has is too many antique cars. TRUTH BOMBS!

I also love that this is up on youtube because Kimmel’s people put it up there. Enjoy it while you can, kiddos! I imagine NBC’s lawyers are hard at work drafting papers demanding that it be taken down.

YOU GO, JIMMY KIMMEL! FOUR FOR YOU!

Oh, and because we don’t want to seem biased, we thought we’d also share this link for anyone who wants to support Jay “big jaw” Leno: http://teamleno.com. Don’t say we never did nothin’ for you, guys.

Tonight Show For Sale. Deep Crows not included.

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It’s official. Stick a fork in Conan. He’s done.

And as his last order of business, he’s putting The Tonight Show up for sale on Craigslist.

We have some money saved. So we’re going to buy it.

Our guest every night will be Conan. And then we’ll have him interview other people, do some funny bits with Andy and Max and the studio audience.

Ultimately, we feel The Tonight Show will be a good place for us to stay while we have the missile silo renovated.

This is all very sad. I am sad. I hope you will join me in following Conan wherever he goes next. I don’t want to tell you not to watch Jay Leno’s show that will go on the air at 11:35, which he is reportedly going to call The Tonight Show.

Gross.

I bet his first guest will be Jerry Seinfeld.

Double gross.

Whoa! That was offside! Too bad there are no refs in real life! Unlike on Jerry Seinfeld’s show, The Marriage Ref.

Triple gross.

OK. I’m going to go dream of this happening.

This is all your fault, Jay Leno!

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Fight the real enemy!

It’s official, people. We are watching the implosion of a television institution in real time. It would be fascinating if it wasn’t heartbreakingly sad.

And we don’t want any comments about how what’s more heartbreaking is real world problems. We’ve had our share of real world problems this year. (Yes. Already.) What we need is a distraction from that.

NBC is providing us with one by destroying their late night lineup and ushering in a feud the likes of which has not been seen since the last time they picked Leno over the funnier guy.

Conan issued a statement yesterday. Some websites have been ridiculously ready to enjoy themselves a backlash bloodbath, telling us what we already know: That this is a fight between millionaires over who gets piles of money. “Rich white guy writes letter of complaint.” Except it’s more like “Rich white guy hired a non-rich staff to help produce his show, then moved them to L.A. where they are all being fucked over by Jay Leno.” Some rich white guys are classier than others.

There are reports that Conan broke down when reading the letter to his staff. Oh my God, we want to give Conan such a big hug!

But the gist of Conan’s statement was: “I am not going to take part in the destruction of The Tonight Show. I will not follow Jay Leno at any time. If NBC wants Leno, they’re going to have to fire me.”

You know, we think Conan is the funniest late night host. Hands down. But this proves he is also a savvy, savvy man. His letter implies (not very subtly) that Jay Leno IS participating in the destruction of The Tonight Show. And how! By refusing to follow Leno at 12:05, Conan is forcing NBC to nut up and fire him. Which they will, since they’ve already announced that Leno is going back to 11:35. (OR IS HE? More on that later.) His statement puts the honus back where it belongs: on NBC. Their statement talking about how they want to keep everyone happy and move people around and it all depends on what Conan wants was sooooo bogus. It is nice to see him tell them to take their Sophie’s Choice and make it themselves. We are with him. There is only one Tonight Show and NBC should just decide who they want to host it and fire the other guy. Let’s get on with it.

What is truly remarkable about last night is that all the other late night hosts joined Conan in EVISCERATING both Leno and the Peacock. Gawker has a roundup of all the relevant clips for your viewing pleasure. But we have some commentary. Let’s start with the man himself.

Conan walked out to a huge standing ovation and applause that went on forever. News of his statement had been bouncing around the wires and internets all the live-long day. He launched into his monologue with lots of jabs at NBC execs and a few at Leno. The rage seems to have subsided a little bit. And that’s only natural because he appears to have gotten it all out in his letter. In which he also declines to move the Tonight Show because it would fuck up the Late Show’s timeslot and he doesn’t want to do Jimmy Fallon dirty. GET IT, JAY? He also had one of his writers call NBC a pimp and him a ho. And Howie Mandel was on hand to play Deal or No Deal to help Conan figure out what to do next. His guests were interesting choices: Tom Brokaw, who famously and generously handed over NBC Nightly News to Brian Williams, and Zachary Levi, whose show, Chuck, has been dicked around by NBC so much that it’s almost been cancelled twice.

We watched Conan’s show last night and had the following chat conversation:

Jess: This is amazing.

Tanis: It really is. I love how the other late night hosts have essentially set the stage for everyone who is on the fence to just totally loathe Jay’s new show, whatever it turns out to be. It’s like they called each other!

Jess: This scandal needs more Norm Macdonald.

Tanis: OMG. Yes! He has to go on Conan’s show tomorrow! They can talk about being fired by NBC! I will not rest until this happens!

Jess: Yes! I want to see Conan and Norm on Dave’s couch on Monday!

Speaking of Letterman…

Read the rest of this entry

These classic cars are making me thirsty! Seinfeld speaks about Conan/Leno, breaks own record for douchebaggery

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I don’t know if you guys watched Conan Friday, but you should’ve, because he did the string dance, made fun of NBC, did his Leno impression, jumped on his desk, made fun of LaBamba’s moustache and hosted a very funny interview with up and comer Aziz Ansari. (“I almost slept on that sheet!”)

Where has this guy been? I sort of miss Late Night Conan. Tonight Show Conan is different. I know he can’t stay the same forever, but I think this new, Tonight Show Conan who was in full-on “Fuck it!” mode is my favourite Conan. So much so that I kind of hope he stays with the network and spends every night from now until his contract is up being a bitter, bitter pain in NBC’s asshole.

Of course, this likely isn’t going to happen. Because Conan is classy and funny and hopefully won’t let it get to him. I promise to stop talking about this soon. But first. I need to address this. I’m going to explode if I don’t.

The New York Post says Conan is contemplating leaving the network. (Duh.) But that’s not the best (worst?) part of that story. The Post has Seinfeld stepping into the fray. Because that’s all Jerry Seinfeld is good for nowadays: Trying (and failing) to prop up his hacky friends.

Comedy legend — and close Leno pal — Jerry Seinfeld took the side of NBC and Leno.

“What did the network do to Conan? I don’t think anyone’s preventing people from watching Conan,” he said during an appearance to hype his new NBC show, The Marriage Ref.

Congrats, Jerry. Spoken like a true douche who is promoting a TERRIBLE show.

I know Jerry’s got to pat the network on its head and all so they’ll put his shitty show on the air (and really, The Marriage Ref sounds like terrible TV), but what the ever-loving fuck is he talking about?

NBC execs are the authors of their own demise and the fact that they’re putting your new show on the air proves it.

The network that once gave groundbreaking comics like Seinfeld and O’Brien airtime has been reduced to handing giant aging baby Jay Leno a pacifier and being unbelievably shitty to Conan, who for the last 15+ years, has done NOTHING but work his pale, Irish ass off to grow their target demographic of 18-35-year-old viewers. They repaid that hard work by scheduling Leno as his lead in. Then, when that failed, they decided to celebrate Leno’s slide in the ratings, by giving him back his original timeslot, telling Conan he’ll do his show at 12:05 and like it, and capping off their brilliance by putting a show called The Marriage Ref on the air.

You better work, Seinfeld. Because I think you’re going to have to hustle to get people to watch that show. Since it’s apparently entirely up to the performer to get ratings and not the network.

WHATEVER. I’m sure Jerry and Jay will laff it up later in their neighbouring airplane hangars filled with cars. “A Duesenberg over a Porsche!? Oh, that’s a hot one! Why I haven’t laughed so hard since I schemed to buy my 150th classic car off a dying old man!”

Late Night rumble!

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Is it any surprise that in this epic battle between late night hosts, the Internets side with Conan and the Olds side with Leno? I would ask Leno to please stop being an idiot, but he knows nothing else!

So the new rumour is Jay’s heading back to 11:35, Conan’s at 12:05 and Jimmy Fallon takes the 1:05 slot. NBC, you are stupid, stupid, stupid!

Last night, Leno had the audacity to joke about moving to Fox. You know where you can move, you unfunny fucker? Anywhere but here, OK? I don’t care about your work ethic or your feeling that you’re not ready to retire. God. What I wouldn’t give for one of those old-timey hooks that comes out and yanks you off the stage!

Conan kept quiet last night and somehow managed to contain what I imagine must be pure, unadulterated rage.

Is he a classy guy or what? The thing is, I kind of wish he’d take the gloves off. Conan is far funnier than they are letting him be. He is not a company guy. He’s the guy who makes fun of the company guy. So it sort of sucks that he kind of has to pretend to be that guy now.

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